Thoughts on Life

I bought a book yesterday and spent all night reading it. It was about a person's life and it is called. Might As Well Laugh About It Now by Marie Osmond. I have always admired the Osmond Family not because they are entertainers but because they live what they believe. They have always stayed true to their relegious beliefs in spite of the entertainment world. They may not be perfect but they are an example of what is good in the world. In this book she talks alot about following her Heavnly Fathers promotings and how doing that has saved her life and her children lives on more than one occasion she talks about being a mother to 8 children and even though those children may not be perfect she still counts them as her greatest achievements.
As I read this book I looked at myself as a daughter of my heavnely father have I been one of his greatest achievements?, have I made good decesions all my life? NO!!!! but I used my free agency and yes maybe my life isnt perfect but I have a beautiful daughter (Melissa at 5 weeks old)
and I have a belief in God that even though I struggle with doctrines I still believe in him. I look around this world that I live in and wonder how can one not believe in a greater force. I am not sure I could be as strong as some of my friends who have neighbors that don't want them in the neighborhood because of what their relegion is. But do I stand up for what I believe YES. This has been a difficult week for me because my ex-husband has started his emotional games again. He has always stated that our daughter is just my daughter. Because I always wanted a girl and she lives with me. Doesn't most fathers want a son. So if it had been a boy would it have been just his son. No it took two. I always wanted a daughter but I also always wanted a son. He made comments in some emails and Melissa read them she was hurt by them. So his comment to her was "What did your mother say about me now? She always turns everyone against me." Melissa emailed his emails back to him and asked him. "How can you say she turned everyone against you when you mailed these to her and I read them". Isnt she a great kid. I have always let Melissa and her father deceide what kind of relationship they wanted with each other. Let me just say he has only been around about 10 times in her life. We have struggles and challenges in life because our Father in Heaven wants us to grow. I can not imagine how boring my life would be if I was never allowed to make my own mistakes and learn from them.

Hmmmm.......

I thought I would catch up on the blog. I haven't much going on so I haven't written lately.
I enjoyed watching General Conference on Sunday April 5Th my favorite talk was given by Elder Gary E. Stevenson of the seventy. He spoke about Sacred Homes, Sacred Temples. My favorite quote in the talk was when he told the story of his father with the grandsons while they were driving he went to area where the grandsons had never been. When grandpa asked "Do you think we are lost?" one young grandson answered "Look.Grandpa you are never lost when you can see the temple." I thought about this statement and realized that I never felt lost or confused when I visited the temples. When I lived in SLC I remembered that no matter what was going on around me I was not alone because I could see the temple and it was the house of the Lord. It is a place where conventnants are made and eternal ordinances are performed. When I finally became endowed it was a place I could go and be with my Father in Heaven. He also talked about our homes are they a place of refuge is there love in the home. Are you happy there. Do you have uplifting pictures on the walls. Is your bedroom a sleeping place or a place to go to for personal prayers to you Heavenly Father.
For some reason this conference I was determined to watch and listen to all of the Sunday sessions. Some of you know of my struggles with church after listening to conference this past week I came to the conclusion that I haven't been really listening to what was being said Yes the bible scriptures are used in talks. I realize now that I need to return to church and go to the temple again. This week has been a frustrating one for me. Because as a mother you always want to protect your child no matter how old they are. Melissa's father is being cruel to me and he does it because he knows of the love I have for Melissa. I am scared that he will start being cruel to her to get at me. I guess I will have to trust my Father in Heaven to help me deal with this stuff.