Father's Day is a day that I find myself looking at the day negatively. I grew up without a father in my home. My parents divorced when I was very young. I have very few good memories of my father. He was an abusive, alcholic, he would yell, scream, and hit us more than I remember him ever holding,hugging, or loving us. I go to church and listen to everyone tell us how wonderful and great their father's are and it makes me angry. I am glad that they feel their fathers are the greatest, but don't make me feel that I am wrong for my feelings.I don't begrudge those who have fathers in the home I just want people to understand that I have different feelings and that they should respect that.
Go live in the world I lived in and will you still say that. I used to say that my father was the way he was because maybe his father didn't show him any love, but I truly believe it was an excuse for him to use so he didn't have to love us. My parents were divorced when I was six and we didn't see my father again until I was about 9, at that time the only reason we saw him was because, he wanted to introduce us to his new wife,(who ironically didn't like children. She had divorced and gave her children to their father, because she couldn't be bothered.) so therefore I never saw him again. After many years of not hearing from him, I called him because I had been told after my mother passed away that he may not be my father, I wanted to know for sure because of family history reasons. When I asked him his words were well the timing of my mother being pregnant with me was in question because he was in Africa with the air force. But he wasn't sure so he accepted me as his daughter. My mother didn't want us to be aware of the facts so she made everyone in the family promise not to tell my older brother and I the truth. I have 2 younger brothers also. My father after not having contact with me for over 30 years was glad to hear from me and also to find out he had a granddaughter. But did that change anything, not really he still didn't keep in touch. I found out totally by surprise that he passed away in 2007. I was working on family history and I just happen to enter his name in a website search and found it. I also found out that his mother died in 2010.
The second reason I don't like this day is because I have a beautiful daughter who has a father, that doesn't make the effort he could to be a part of her life, so she has grown up not having her father in the home. I have done everything to make this day different for her. When she was younger we didn't attend church on this day, unless I had a calling at that time that required me to attend and we always did something special to make the day special for her. I have always had good home teachers that were examples of what a good father should be for her. Her grandfather Cole has made an effort to be the man in her life. She has had my brothers in her life.
Every year when I have taught children on Father's Day I have always had one or two children that don't have their fathers in the home, I try to teach them that Heavenly Father is the father they can turn to when things are rough. Here in Iowa most of the children I have in primary have a father,or stepfather in the home, It is different to see that for me anyways. In New Mexico it was different.
Even though I never had my father around while growing up, I knew I was loved by my mother and she did what she could to make us feel special. I usually add pictures but I couldn't find any this time.
