As I thought about writing on my blog............ I thought well I could tell you all about my recent trip to Pella Tulip Time which was very nice. But then I started thinking about my mother. As this is Mother's Day I thought I go ahead with my thoughts of my mother. She passed away May 4th 2002. I have missed her many times since then.
Even though my mother and I were the typical Daughter and Mother we had our differences I grew up not really knowing she loved me and my 2 brothers because she didn't say it often to us. Her life as a youth was not a real happy one and she didn't hear many good words from her parents. So as I have matured through the years I realize that she only did what she knew. As I grew up and got married, divorced, and became a mother myself I realized that even though I didn't hear the words I Love YOU alot she did love us. Her actions spoke louder for me. She worked 3 jobs at times to keep a decent roof over our heads and even though we didnt wear many name brands we had clean clothes and shoes for our feet. We had food in the house. She paid for babysitters to come to our house so we didn't spend too much time away from home. She would make sure our needs were met before her own. I remember she did whatever she could to provide for us. At one time the welfare system insisted she accept their help she refused until they threaten to take her children away. She then accepted food stamps and a monthly check. We moved to New Mexico because she could find work there and spend time with us children and not have to rely on the state welfare system to help. She was a very proud woman.
I remember when I had my daughter she beamed with great joy. She wanted a granddaughter and guess what Heavnely Father gave her that blessing and in a way gave me the same blessing. I heard I love you said many times to my daughter from her grandmother. I also learned that I was loved through my daughter there were times when Melissa needed something and I didnt have the means to get it my mother did. After Melissa was born my mother was the one that said. "Even though you are not going to church you need to. Melissa needs god in her life. And you are so much happier when you are active." I went back to church and stayed active while Melissa was growing up. My mother was at many events for Melissa such as her blessing and baptism and plays or school activities.I spent lots of hours with her and Melissa. Even though I didn't realize it at the time. I learned how to be strong when I needed, gentle when the situtation required it, and silent when the time was right. Melissa has grown up to have a respect for her elders because of the example that my mother gave her. Once I remember a time when my grandmother was being espically cruel with words to my mom I asked "Why do you put up with grandma talking like that to you."her reply to me was "Because she is my mother and I love her. Yes she sometimes says things that hurt but I am going to be better than that." My grandmother passed away in 1995 as a child and even an adult I remember that I was scared of my grandmother. I am glad that my daughter is not afraid of her grandmother. As I sit here with tears for my mother. I realize that she loved each of her children in her own way. She has two sons and me her daughter. She loved being a mother even though it was hard. I love you mom and I miss you greatly but I am glad that you did show me how to love and appreciate being a mother. I love you Melissa and thank you Heavenly Father for giving me the opporuntity to be a mother. My mother did not like pictures of her taken so I only have a few of us.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY mom I miss you. And Love you always
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